I’m just going to go ahead and admit that the 3rd trimester is kicking my ass. I love it and all, but the 2nd trimester being labeled as the “honeymoon phase” of pregnancy is beyond true. Since my last post, the not so subtle plea for people to buy us things from our registry, I have been wallowing in the oppression of the last leg.

Lately I’ve been forgetting to drink a majority of my water before 6 pm, which has given me the foreshadow of welcoming a newborn. Getting up every hour (or so) and taking care of a bodily function. Lucky for me the bathroom is mere steps away, and I don’t have to do anything about lack of clothing to accommodate roommates. Then when 7 am finally roles around and my system is done clearing out last night’s influx of H2O, I am woke-up by Ryan at 7:30 am letting me know that I’m snoring. 9_9 I tell him to give me a break because I’ve had a rough night. I could let him know his snoring sounds like a growling dog between 1:30 - 4:30 am… but asking for a break is a bit easier because there is no argument to ensue.
One thing he does need to work on is altering his darn alarms to wake in the morning. Holy crap, do you really need 7 alarms that go off in 15 minute increments until 8 am AND a clock radio that usually blares NPR starting at 6:45 am. C’mon now. (;
After 8 am, I usually get two solid hours of sleep, sawing logs and all. Then I’ll get up for work or other appointments. If nothing is scheduled, I’ll let my body dictate what time I get up.

Another major discomfort as of recent is a pulled abdominal muscle that happened while grocery shopping 2 weeks ago. It’s on the left side 2” above my umbilical scar. It was after a childbirth prep class, so it was almost 10 pm. After the first surge of pain I decided to leave the cart in the middle of the aisle because it wasn’t worth negotiating the cart anymore. Since then, the pain is exacerbated by using the right side of my body, which sucks when you’re right handed… and trying to not laugh at America’s Funniest Home Videos or sneeze is just freaking torture! So… no more lifting for me!!

On the other hand, a major comfort has been meeting our Doula Becky. We are incredibly happy with her and fortunate that she is looking to get her DONA license, which means she’s free to us. Our first meeting went great. I prepared by reading “The Doula Guide To Birth” that is a pretty good resource for approaching labor gently, but also has tons of research about DONA, Penny Simkin and what a good birth plan entails. We also used the interview questions that were recommended in the book. Luckily it wasn’t an awkward first meeting where we were solely relying on our prepared papers, rather things came organically and a lot of the questions were answered in her background stories. I especially enjoyed when we were talking about how to handle early labor. We learned in our class the 5-1-1 method, where your contractions are 5 minutes apart, lasting for 1 minute and have had this pattern for an hour. The negative aspect of following this method is sometimes, especially for first labors, this is MUCH too early for women. This is all well and good if you’re crossing your fingers that you’re at 4 cm and you’re interested in that epidural straight away. But not so much if you’re planning on a natural birth without medication. So according to a lot of the reading I’ve done, our midwife and Becky our Doula we’ll be heading to the hospital once I’m 3-1-1.
Also, Ryan learning that his role is not being over taken by Becky, but empowering him with support. I’d imagine a lot of birth partners feel marginalized about their roles when the woman asks for a labor Doula. I wish all the women who need a Doula are granted one.

It’s funny that I mention meeting our Doula before talking about the actual Childbirth Prep class we took. I honestly could have done with out taking the class. It was offered by a hospital that subsidizes their rate for poor folks like us. It’s your run of the mill class, this is natural child birth, these are the drugs you can get, these are medical interventions, any questions? For me, I felt like Hermionie Granger, raising my hand all the time, frustrated with the lack of information being distributed to the class. I think my two sense did help a lot of the women though, so that was pretty gratifying. But I didn’t really connect with any one couple in particular. Well, there was one birth partner who was skeptical of the lack of natural approaches that weren’t offered, but they live in the Mt Hood area and are relocating soon after the birth. Other than that, everyone seemed to have a lot of fear about their up comming birth. I’m trying to stay away from people’s anxiety because I’m a taking the mind over matter approach.
I think the most gratifying thing that came from doing the class was seeing Ryan learn more about childbirth. Him being able to have major conversations with me about our impending birth made it worth it. And having our bond grow stronger was really great. And the onset of random massages has been real fabulous too!

As far as the baby and my pregnancy… everything is going great. I think I was becoming anxious about people mentioning that I was looking too big for how far along I am. The real kicker was from Ryan’s grandma. She just walked in the front door for my baby shower and blurts “Oh, are you sure you’re not carrying twins?” Our first midwife appointment in our second trimester, she just pressed on the top of my uterus and said it looks about the right height, not using the tape to find the measurement. So after a few more comments on my size, I was a bit anxious. Our midwife did take the fundal measurement at week 27. I was measuring a few weeks ahead. So, I went home with scheduled appointment for an ultrasound for week 29 to check on our baby’s growth. Then later that day I found out that I failed the glucose challenge. That weekend I was pretty bummed. Thoughts of macrosoma and cesarean sections abound. But I did take the glucose test a few days later, which I had to fast for, enter the lab drinking twice as much of the glucose drink (equivalent to 2 cokes…) and get my blood drawn for the next three hours on the hour. It was incredibly annoying, but Ryan took the morning off to support me and the waiting room we were in was quite nice. Fortunately I passed on the fasting level and my subsequent levels were perfectly normal.
The next hurdle was the ultrasound. I eventually had to stop reading about issues that could arise because it was pretty much a total bummer to think about. The ultrasound appointment went fine. We had a student do the major part of the ultrasound and a technician follow-up on some of the other markers that she was having issues with. The genetic counselor had excellent bedside manor and let us know that our lady is in the 57-percentile. This means that 50 is the mean of where babies should be at the stage in pregnancy. Anything below is small, above is large. Generally they don’t worry until you’re over 80. And 57 is just 7 points above “normal” so she’s fine. I’m just measuring big. Whatevs.
But,it’s probably a good idea not to tell a pregnant lady the size of her stomach isn’t normal looking to you if you’re not a midwife or OB-GYN… just saying.

It is kind of mind boggling though the one-size-fits-all approach to pregnancy. I think I read that the fundal measurement is based on a mid-century size 4 woman or something crazy like that. It just seems like there is a lot of room for error if you’re basing true growth on it. At least with the weight gain, there are other markers. But then, when I was told by the OB-GYN we saw in the first trimester to gain as little weight as possible, I took it as motivation to be sure I took control of my health. But, but I don’t understand this chart. It doesn’t break it down for us who are to “gain as little as possible.” If I was to average everything and omit the maternal body stores, that’d mean 19.5 lbs that one should gain in pregnancy. So does this mean I’m loosing weight by “gaining as little weight as possible?” Midwife, nutritionist and nurses abound can not answer that question for me. At this point it seems likely that I’m loosing weight by following her advice, especially since my net gain is smaller than what my baby, in theory, should weigh right now.
All I know is I am looking forward to eating healthy from now on, which will improve my chances of being at a “healthy BMI” if we decide to have another. Because seriously, some of the sonographers that have given me ultrasounds felt if they pressed really hard they’d get a better picture. Now, I’m no sonographer, but I can’t tell a difference… and the images that we’ve accrued since the beginning of getting them, pressing hard or not, look exactly the same. The only thing I notice is it pissed our little one off, and left me feeling sore in those spots.

Ah! One of the last assignments that we had in the Childbirth Prep class was to write down ten things that would make a perfect birth experience. Then we’d have to go back and take half of them out. I, I wasn’t able to do it. I don’t know if it was because I chose such generic things that are important to me: waterbirth, non-medicated, natural, upbeat people, ryan being there… those are a few. At the last call before we had to announce what we had to take off, I decided that I would accept penicillin as an intervention if I had an infection. That was the only way I was budging. But this was a hypothetical exercise in being flexible. Which through this exercise I realized I am not.

Hi, my name is Charmaine, and I’m a control freak.

But it also has a lot to do with the number one entry on my perfect birth experience: waterbirth. Waterbirth is really regulated as far as what will keep you out of the water:

• early labor
• birthing before 37 weeks
• vital signs of laboring woman and baby
• gestational diabetes
• eclampsia and preeclampsia
• meconium
• infections: GBS, hepatitis, herpes, HIV
• the need for mother to have an IV
• seizures
• you feel you can’t move
• midwife’s discretion

Lucky for me, my health is still good enough to consider going forward with waterbirth on birth plan. (as of now) But… it almost seems like the birth is like a graduation. If I don’t get what I need to have a perfect birth, I might be a bit bummed. And hearing, “Oh, but you have a healthy baby that you got out of it” is a cliché that I’m not looking forward to.
Because I know, my boneheadedness about getting my way, or having a midwife yell at me to get out of the tub, will probably stall my labor. So as of now, I am still dreaming about this perfect scenario, even if once I get there I hate the tub and find it’s not a tool for me. I’m approaching this experience as mind-over-matter stance, but I am willing to desentize myself so it’s not so traumatic if I don’t have my needs met.
Plus I know, it’s going to be conditional. They baby will have her own agenda. My body will too. And I’ll have Ryan there, and Becky supporting Ryan and I, especially translating interventions and information for when I’m on another astral plane.

Speaking of fear. I finally confronted my advance directive worksheet and payable upon death certificate for my bank. I was crying the whole time. It’s a pretty interesting place to be in. Especially since when I discovered i had to fill one out, it was also around the first time I watched a cesarean since becoming pregnant. Both are powerful ways of relenquishing power to others, something I am NOT good at, as it was established earlier. Ryan quickly took notice of my condition and asked what I was up to. I appreciated his offer complete it a later date, but, I let him know it was time for me to face this. Especially since it’s been my reaction to it since i learned I needed to do it.

Lastly, I’m turning 29 the 36th week of my pregnancy. What the hell is a lady to do for her last birthday before a little one arrives… also I’m almost 30… also, she could arrive any moment. Holy crap!

I’m back from sunny, luscious San Diego. When I saw Ryan sitting at the waiting room in the airport I just started crying. I think it was a combination of missing him, but also not being ready to return to “my reality.” While down there I had my first ever baby shower. It was amusing and we were given a lot of neat things. I ended up filling a whole other suitcase full of baby shower gifts. We received some things from our registry, but a lot of it wasn’t on the registry. C’est la vie… we’ll find one way to use them I’m sure.

So now we’ve readjusted the registry, compromised on things that we were excited about getting (fancy-pants cloth diapers in exchange for eco-friendly pre-folds) and it truly reflects things that we need. If your pocket book agrees with something on our registry, we’ll forever be grateful and you’ll get a calligraphy thank you note from moi!

These are screen shots of our registry as of this afternoon.  All of them are linked to the registry, so if you click on the image with the item in mind, you’ll have to find the item on the registry. And if the item you were hoping for got snatched up, remember it’s a good thing for us as we’ll accept your second or third choices. (: Practical is much appreciated.

A lot has happened since my last post. What percentage of it is post worthy? Probably a small one…

• We saw our midwife shortly after my last post. Everything is going well with the growth of the baby and my weight gain and other markers that she checks for each visit.
• We had another anatomy scan because she was so active during the first one. It’ll possibly be our last one to, because everything is hunky dory with her body as far as the radiologist could tell.
• I registered for our childbirth preparation class. It wasn’t the holistic approach to birth class that I was hoping for, but It’s also significantly cheaper. We’ll also be doing a tour of the birth center and taking a water birth class. I’m also looking into a preparing for infants class.
• Christmas happened. We got some sweet gifts for her. One of Ryan’s aunts followed our blog and registry suggestions to a T, which was fabulous!
• I cleaned up the registry to reflect what we’ll need straight away, versus toys that she won’t be able to play with for a year from now, and other things that she won’t need.
• New Years has happened, and that means we’re in the year that she’ll be born.

Everything is just swell. I’m heading to San Diego on Wednesday for some much needed sunshine. I’ll be having our first baby shower while there. If you have good recommendations for games to play during showers, that’ll help my Mother-In-Law out a lot!

It had begun. We went to Babies-R-Us this evening. I can’t even fathom one more thing in our small one bedroom apartment. With the recent donation of a infant car seat, stroller frame that’s adjustable to car seats, vibrating baby seat, Bumbo seat and a few other essentials, that we of course are eternally grateful for… I have *NO* idea what we’re going to do with them.  If I was to take a photo of our living room, it’d look congested with baby things! …And now we’re adding to our baby registry for more things!

So here is our registry:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/baby/1UVWCKX6HM6LZ

I’m calling on you veteran parents to inform me of things I am missing, things that shouldn’t be on there, things that aren’t essentials, and things that should be purchased used.

Things we already have:

Infant car seat
Universal snap-and-go frame, for car seat to be a stroller
Bumbo seat
Vibrating seat
Conception to birth album
A few newborn outfits
A few 3-6-9-12 month outfits
A newborn baby hat
A pair of crochet booties and matching hat
Diaper pail
Bottle brush
(4) Kisssa’s Fitted Cloth Diapers, newborn
(2) Thirsties, size one, 0-9 month
Kathy Van Zeeland tote diaper bag
Skip*Hop messenger diaper bag
Safety 1st bag dispenser, for dirty diapers on the go
Sassy bag dispenser, see above
Kiddopotamus head support
Travel-size Johnson+Johnson baby products
Mercury-in-glass thermometer
A few baby rattles
Tupperware Shape-o toy
Spoons and sippy cups for later

Last Wednesday, Ryan and I headed to Vita Cafe for our last date as a single couple. While standing in line for a table I felt something along the lines of gas in a weird place. Somewhere that was obviously not where my intestines are… so I took it as being quickening.

The next day at our Voodoo wedding I felt it pretty hard. After a small cup of coffee and a few bites of my Voodoo groom there was definitely some cartwheels going on. After that night I didn’t feel the same sensations. It felt pretty weird about not feeling the same intensity of movements and was really looking forward to the visit with the midwife this week to make sure everything was OK.

The visit went really well and we even got to hear the baby with a doppler. Shortly after the heartbeat showed up on the speaker we heard a loud punch to the doppler. The midwife talked to me about the movements and asked if I had been feeling them. I told her about my quickening last week, but that it seemed to decrease, or I wasn’t understanding the the other sensations that the kicking will feel like. We were talking about a cramping sensation that I was having. And it was probably just the baby fluttering down South. I think I might have been told that the cramping was Round Ligament Pains, but I might have yet to feel that happen.

So last night, after talking with our midwife about it, I was really concentrating my abdomen.  Doing this made a really interesting night. Rolling over, going to the bathroom, sitting up I felt all the sensations of this person moving around inside of me. It was pretty out of this world!

Ever since week four day two of our pregnancy Ryan and I have been discussing names. The only measure we are using to name the child is the “make fun of meter.” If we can think of ways that the name can be dissected and made fun of, it usually doesn’t end up on our favorites list. This is a terrible measure for names, but I endorsed it having the name of Charmaine, that is conveniently close to a national toilet paper brand (Charmin). One coping mechanism I came up with was asking to take Tae Kwon Do classes… I was no longer chased with the nickname “toilet paper girl” after the boys who chased me saw my belt was one year senior to theirs. Many girls hid behind me to save their ponytail from being pulled.

Yet I’m thinking about this “make fun of meter” that we devised. I just finished reading a blog about a young girl named Katie, who is the same age as this “toilet paper girl” was. She was being made fun of for her love of Star Wars. The boys said that it’s just for boys and that she should like more “girlie” like things. I liked the parent’s philosophy of letting the kids choose what they like. We plan to do that for sure.

But I am still concerned with our discriminating meter for the name choosing. Should we name the child something goofy and give them the ambassador tool of resilience? Are there better measures for naming ones child? Should we consider the advice of “don’t name your child that, every person I’ve known with that name I’ve hated.” It’s hard, but we’ve got a pretty good list. For the meantime, the baby will still be known as burrito. Maybe even until it’s birth, who knows?

12/11/10 addendum:

On this week’s episode of 30 Rock, Jack Donaghy’s recently un-estranged father mentioned that their tradition of naming the baby was to let the baby decide on it. Of course all of the other characters were appauled by the idea, to which the recently un-estranged father said something along the lines of “Hey, my son Spider Man has had nothing but success.”
…I just had to add this to this post!

The second trimester is kind of unnerving for me.  I am finding myself questioning if everything is OK.  With the obviously (and annoying) symptoms from the first trimester dwindling away… the doctor visits being spread out further… and our last ultrasound coming up… it’s just not as safe feeling that I had with all of the invasive but reassuring visits with the doctor earlier in pregnancy.

I hope it’s just the anticipation of things to come and not just my body preparing me for something to go wrong.  It might actually have more to do with two women that are as far along as me have had issues in their pregnancy. 

I am trying my best to be positive and pay attention to the good signs that I am having. I am pretty sure I experienced “quickening” on 11/10.  We were at a restaurant waiting for a table for our last date as a single couple… and I felt like I had gas near my bellybutton.  After logically thinking about the gas I realized what it was.  I am also not gaining any weight yet, because I really want things to go the way I need them to later in pregnancy.  Mostly my delivery and my pre-pregnancy weight putting me at risk for complications later on.

So right now, things seem to be OK, but I think I’m ready for the baby-vision on a TV screen and a qualified person reassuring me.

I am trying to figure out a Tumblr friendly counter for the count down until our estimated due date.  I can’t seem to find one that’ll show up, kind of bummed about it.  But the neat thing that I learned was that I was 111 days pregnant on my first day of being married.  11/11 wedding, thanks again!

Another tidbit about our 11/11 wedding… 111110 in binary it translates to “>” the greater-than sign.  Not only is having the greater than sign represent your wedding day pretty friggin’ cool, our first anniversary is going to be 11/11/11.  I was inspired by my good friend Bradley who lives in San Diego to seek out a binary day for my wedding.  He ever so smartly chose 10/10/10 to be his wedding day.  Not only is it an obviously cool day to get married, in binary, 101010 is 42, the answer of life.  So, Bradley, a computer programmer who is a Douglas Adams fan got his very, very special day.

Look at this!!